CHARLIE DRAKE - 'My Boomerang Won't Come Back' - 45rpm 1961

MY BOOMERANG WON'T COME BACK
Charlie Drake - 1961

(Oom-yacka-wurka, oom-yacka-wurka, oom-yacka-wurka)
In the bad backlands of Australia
Many years ago,
The aborigine tribes were meeting,
Having a big pow-wow.
(Oom-yacka-wurka, oom-yacka-wurka)
"We got a lot of trouble, Chief,
On account of your son Mack."
"My boy Mack? Why, what's wrong with him?"

My boomerang won't come back.
"Your boomerang won't come back?"
My boomerang won't come back,
My boomerang won't come back,
I've waved the thing all over the place,
Practised till I was black in the face,
I'm a big disgrace to the Aborigine race,
My boomerang won't come back.

I can ride a kangaroo (yeah yeah)
Make kinkajou stew (yeah yeah)
But I'm a big disgrace to the Aborigine race,
My boomerang won't come back.
They banished him from the tribe then
And sent him on his way,
He had a backless boomerang
So here he could not stay. (Animal noises)

This is nice, innit?
Getting banished at my time of life.
What a way to spend an evening: sitting on a rock in the middle of the desert with me boomerang in me hand. I shall very likely get bushwhacked. (An animal roars; Drake shrieks back.)

Get out of it!
You nasty bushwhacking animal.
Think I'll make a nice cup of tea. (Doing, doing, doing...)
Good gracious!
There goes a kangaroo.
I must have a practice with me boomerang: hit him right behind the left earhole.
Now then, slowly back.
Gruff voice: If you throw that thing at me, I'll jump right on your head. (It chuckles and bounces away.)

Innit marvellous?
Got a land full of kangaroos and I had to pick that one.
For three long months he sat there
Or maybe it was four,
Then an old old man in a kangaroo skin
Came a-knocking at his door.
"Well, I'm the local witch doctor, son,
They call me George Alfred Black.
Now tell me, what's your trouble, boy?"

My boomerang won't come back.
"Your boomerang won't come back?"
My boomerang won't come back,
My boomerang won't come back,
I've waved the thing all over the place,
Practised till I was black in the face,
I'm a big disgrace to the Aborigine race,
My boomerang won't come back.

"Don't worry, boy,
I know the trick,
And to you I'm gonna show it.
If you want your boomerang to come back,
Well first you've got to... throw it."
Ooh, yes!
Never thought of that.
Daddy will be pleased.
Must have a go, nyuh-huh! Excuse me.
Now then, slowly back... and throw.
(Boomerang whizzes away; Sounds of a plane approaching and then falling from the sky.)

Ooh my God!
I've hit the flying doctor.
Eee-hee-hee!
Can you do first aid?

Don't talk to me about first aid, boy, you owe me fourteen chickens, you know, when I learned you to throw the boomerang, you know, first things first.

Yes, I know that, but I mean, I think on this occasion, you know, you could be a bit more perspective...........